Adoption: Where Do I Start?

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(3) Be Prepared to Wait

Adopting a child always requires a waiting period. If you want to adopt a Caucasian infant, be prepared to wait at least one year from the time the home study is completed, and more frequently two to five years. It is difficult to estimate the waiting period more specifically because birthparents usually select and interview the family they wish to parent their child. Applicants wishing to adopt African-American infants may have a shorter wait, probably less than six months. If you want to adopt a child with special needs, you can begin now to review photolistings to learn more about waiting children and to look for children who might be right for your family. Intercountry adoptions, on the other hand, may take a year or more but the wait and the process will be somewhat more predictable. For any type of adoption, even after a child is found, you may have to wait weeks or months while final arrangements are made.

(4) Complete the Legal Procedures

After a child is placed with you, you must fulfill the legal requirements for adoption. Hiring an attorney may be necessary at this time, if you have not already retained one.

Usually a child lives with the adoptive family for at least six months before the adoption is finalized legally, although this period varies according to State law-unlike some intercountry adoptions, however, where the adoption is completed before the child leaves his country. During this time before the adoption is finalized, the agency will provide supportive services. The social worker may visit several times to ensure that the child is well cared for and to write up the required court reports. After this period, the agency will submit a written recommendation of approval of the adoption to the court, and you or your attorney can then file with the court to complete the adoption.

For intercountry adoptions, finalization of the adoption depends on the type of visa the child has, and the laws in your State. The actual adoption procedure is just one of a series of legal processes required for intercountry adoption. You must also fulfill the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service's requirements and then proceed to naturalize your child as a citizen of the United States.

 

Independent Adoptions

Adoptions can sometimes be arranged without an agency. Initial contacts can be made directly between a pregnant woman and adoptive parents or by the pregnant woman and an attorney, depending on State law. Independent adoption is legal in all but a few States, but there are significant variations regarding specific aspects of adoption laws of which you should be aware.

If you pursue this approach, retain an experienced adoption attorney to explain the adoption laws in your State. Talk to other adoptive parents. Become familiar with the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC), because in interstate adoptions you will be required to comply with the adoption laws of both States. You certainly do not want your adoption to be challenged because of failing to comply with the relevant adoption laws.

To initiate an independent adoption, you must first locate a birthmother interested in relinquishing her child. In the States where it is legal, advertising in the classified section of local newspapers has proven to be a successful method for bringing birthparents and adoptive parents together. You can advertise on your own or use a national adoption advertising consultant. Another way to locate a birthmother is to send an introductory letter, photo, and resume describing your family life, home, jobs, hobbies, and interests to crisis pregnancy centers, obstetricians, and all of your friends and colleagues who might possibly lead you to the right person. Some families have even advertised on the Internet.

Simply locating a birthmother is only the first step. You also need to know about the birthfather. States have recognized the rights of birthfathers to be involved in decisions about their children, including adoptions. Many States have established registries (putative father registries) as a way for birthfathers to register their intention to support and be involved in their child's life. Several high-profile law suits have involved contested adoptions where birthfathers were not notified of, and subsequently objected to the adoptive placement of the child.

Expenses involved in an independent adoption vary. It is customary for adoptive parents to pay for the birthmother's medical and legal expenses, in addition to their own. Some States also require the adoptive parents to pay for counseling for the birthparents so that the court can be satisfied that they both fully comprehend what they are planning to do. A home study, for which there is a fee, conducted by a certified social worker or a licensed child-placing agency is usually required. In some States, the adoptive parents may also help out with the birthmother's living or clothing expenses. Again, with each of these issues, you must know your State adoption laws and what they allow or prohibit in an adoption.

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