Adoption: Where Do I Start?

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A few States permit adoption facilitators to act as "matchmakers" who recruit and counsel birthparents and then make introductions to prospective adoptive families. The facilitators charge families for their services and allow the birthparents and the adoptive family to make the rest of the placement arrangements.

Each potential independent adoption situation is different, and this method can be expensive. It is not uncommon for the expenses in an independent adoption to equal those of a private agency adoption, unless the birthmother has health insurance or is covered by medical assistance. Since many birthparents change their minds after the child is born, prospective adoptive families must often deal with the loss of funds paid for birthparent expenses in addition to the loss of the anticipated baby. Some adoptive parents purchase adoption insurance as a way to guard against such financial risks; insurance underwriters require that families work with pre-approved agencies or attorneys in order to purchase this insurance.

Identified adoption is a form of independent adoption in which a birthmother and adoptive parents locate one another, but then go together to a licensed adoption agency-in a few States, this is the only type of independent adoption allowed. The agency conducts the home study for the adoptive parents and counsels the birthmother. All the parties know that the birthmother's baby will be placed with that couple. This process combines some of the positive elements of all types of adoption: the birthmother can feel confident that her child will have a future with an approved, loving family, and the adoptive parents can feel confident that the birthmother has thought through her decision carefully. As in any adoption, however, a birthmother may still change her mind about placing the child.

Many couples who have adopted infants independently found it was the right solution for them. It may be the solution for you; however, it is not for everyone. Some adoptive parents who have adopted independently say later that it might have been nice to have had the emotional support and thoughtful preparation for adoption that an adoption agency provides. Most parents want to be well-prepared to help their children deal with adoption issues they will face at different points in their lives. Some parents seek support before and after adopting independently by joining adoptive parent support groups.

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